Saturday, August 31, 2002
Achtung! Execution is Verboten!
Friday, August 30, 2002
Link of the Day
Smarter Questions for Dumber Terrorists
"It's an altitude sensitive... I mean... I don't what you're talking about!"
"Aha! Security, take him away and beat him!"
The Sound of Silencers
Silencers have such a bad connotation into today's society, so much so that even more states ban them than ban fully automatics. When someone hears silencer, they think "evil assassin" (or, I guess by today's lingo, "evil regime-changer"), but it's just a logical thing to make guns quieter. Is there really a compelling reason that my neighbors have to get woken up every single I time I shoot an intruder? And no one gets angry at car manufacturers for making engines quieter even though I could easily stealthily kill someone with my Hyundai. Plus, if the idea is to keep people from using silencers for evil, then isn't it a good idea not to make those people angry by forcing them to pay a $200 Class III weapons transfer fee? It's just common sense.
We Got You, Sucka!
Who fired the last shot of the Pacific War is of less dispute.
Thursday, August 29, 2002
Link of the Day
Today, John Hawkins's interview with Daniel Pipes was big news, but everyone already linked to that. Also, there is a big debate at DailyPundit on Bill Quick's decision to start posting at a the pay only Blogging Network. But, from the looks of the comments section, everyone has already read about that. Personally, I'm too new to blogging to have an opinion, but I myself am not a professional writer (like that isn't obvious) and am thrilled just to be read by anyone at all. I will mention that I have crossed the line and paid for internet content at ign.com (I like me videogames); I liked the idea of having special access to things other people can't read. I don't think I can go on and keep paying for tons of different individual sites, though, so if lots of places go pay, I hope I can suscribe to a suite of sites just like you get a bunch of channels with your cable TV subscription. Oh, I guess I do have an opinion.
Oh, yeah, link of the day. The link of the day is Joanne Jacobs's post about blogging for money and her ambivalence about the Blogging Network. It's a bit of a downer to people hoping to blog for cash, but it's definitely worth a read.
Why Other Countries Hate Us = Why Other Countries Suck so Much
Video Format Discrimination
Wednesday, August 28, 2002
If You Want to Get Things Moving, Kill Someone
All Countries Not Named America Should Just Shut Up
Tuesday, August 27, 2002
I Share Saddam's Wishful Thinking
Hopes for Peace
All Dogs Go to Heaven and Get 70 Virgins
UPDATE: I just received this statement from the National Association of Canine Americans:
"We vehemently condemn all pooping indoors, but humans have to realize that their policies of leaving dogs inside alone for hours and not supplying sufficient chew toys often makes dogs feel they have no choice but to 'leave a surprise.'"
-Fido, President of the National Association of Canine Americans
Monday, August 26, 2002
Angry American, Whiny Englishman
Of Monkeys and Politics
As far as I know (or care to know) the only use of monkeys is to test things on them. Some people may say, “Hey. That’s cruel!” and my response to that is, “I don’t like monkeys.” But, personal feelings aside, they are the most intelligent animal other than man, which is why this idea can work. They also aren’t too far removed from people in the political area: they’re apathetic to current events just like the nation’s youths, they jump around and screech a lot just like liberals, and they don’t bathe very often just like Frenchmen. To get the project started, first a decent size island must be obtained, either purchased or taken by forced – someone else can figure that out – and then we need to get a bunch of monkeys from wherever it is people usually get monkeys – again, not my department. Then you have your island full of subjects to test out political ideas on. Have some monkeys control the monkey economy and then let each of the monkeys make their own decisions with their monkey money and see what works better. Don’t let any of the monkeys have guns, lets only the leader monkeys have guns, and then give all the monkeys guns and see what happens (observations should be done remotely). Of course, if through research we stumble upon the perfect socio-economic model, the monkeys may become too powerful to control and we could be on our way to the planet of the apes. That’s why the island should also be laden with explosives for a last ditch measure.
If you like my idea, send me millions of dollars and I'll get started on it. I'm going to work on the explosives part first.
Saddam Hussein May Be a Murderer!
Strangers on the Web
Sunday, August 25, 2002
Some People Shouldn't Have Guns
Is This How They'll Run a Palestinian State?
If She Really Is a No Talent Hack, How Come I Read Her?
On another note, there was some poetry in her column: "At the risk of sounding feline, I must say that 'bovine' leaves me supine and is not fit for 'Nightline,' much less 'Frontline.'" That gave me a chuckle, though I have no clue what it means.
Realism in Computer Games
Saturday, August 24, 2002
All the Good Ideas Are Already Taken
If Security is Their First Priority, I Don't Even Want to Know How Their Second Priority Turned Out
Killing Terrorists is Fun and Educational
I think this is cause for an IMAO special investigative report. I have just downloaded America's Army and will play it to see if it convinces me to leave my cushy job and join the Army. I will also soon investigate Super Mario Sunshine to see if it does the same.
Friday, August 23, 2002
I'm Still New to Blogging
Kitty Kitty Bang Bang
Note: The official policy of the IMAO website is to oppose animal cruelty. This policy may change at anytime without notice.
Will We Ever Have Another Worthy Rival?
Thursday, August 22, 2002
There Are Still Some Standards
The slippery slope back towards Puritanism has begun.
Canadians Must Be For Slavery
Best Image Ever
Was the Word "Snarky" Invented Just to Describe Her?
There Wouldn't be Forest Fires If We Didn't Have Forests
Wednesday, August 21, 2002
Think Positive Things About NASA
Ding Dong, the Witch Isn't Reelected
Anyone know how to make donations to those two groups?
Now I'm Going to Be All Self-Concious When Posting
Tuesday, August 20, 2002
Catch and Release
Now don't take me out of context and say I'm for eliminating all trees. I just think they can be relegated to some zoo or something so they can stay out of our way.
You Can't Spell "Insanely Stupid" Without U.N.
In other news, the fox has been elected to chair the United Nations Commission on Henhouse Protection and I have been elected to chair the United Nations Commission on Not Beating Hippies.
A Really Lame Hostage Situation
Monday, August 19, 2002
Just Trying to Piss Off God
Now what was I talking about...
Must Have Really Hated Himself
Sunday, August 18, 2002
Why Don't They Just Wear "We're Evil!" Signs
Saturday, August 17, 2002
Know Your History
Saddam is Still Alive... But Why?
Friday, August 16, 2002
I'd Even Rather Vote for Nader
Repartions for Slavery
Israel - The Anti-Europe
Thursday, August 15, 2002
Gotta Nuke Something
Fear Our Lawyers
Wednesday, August 14, 2002
Why Didn't the U.S. Give Him a Birthday Surprise?
On hand for the celebration was Congresswoman Maxine Waters, who coddled up to the evil murderous dictator praising the made up virtues of the oppressive government. Now, I want to be careful, because calling for the death of an elected (U.S.) leader is not cool. I'm calling for her execution for treason after the due process of law. The victims of Castro deserve no less.
So is it a Combination of "Hedge" and "Money"?
It would be kind of neat, though, if the Jamaicans accused us of hegemony. "Hey, you Americans, stop being such a hege, mon. Drink Red Stripe!"
Tuesday, August 13, 2002
Et tu, McGruff?
Fire and Forget
Evil Dictator: "You bombed my country!"
Bush: "No, our military was busy scouting around Afghanistan that day. Honest."
Evil Dictator: "But the bombers all had American flags on them!"
Bush: "I don't know what to tell you. Maybe it just looked like the American flag. Could be the Puerto Ricans; their flag looks like ours."
Evil Dictator: "Puerto Rico is part of America!"
Bush: "Really? Hmm... I'll have to take a look into that. Bye."
Man, it would be so cool. Everyone would know we did it, but we'd look so crazy denying it that everyone would think we flipped. I bet a lot of countries would fall in line right after that, and Europe might be so spooked that even they wouldn't whine. But, if they do, that could be the target of the next measures we take...
Some Things Even Cross the Line for a Democrat
There is also all that about the suspicious donations on September 11th, but I'm willing to give her a pass on that. She seems to dumb to be evil.